A friend of mine, a New Yorker, used to tell me how he was too busy to recycle. In his old apartment building, there was a garbage compactor chute on every floor, and if he dumped canned goods, newspapers or plastic bags down there, no one was the wiser. Then he moved on up to the East Side, into a building where he was responsible for putting out his own trash and recyclables (ha!) each week. Suddenly, he wasn’t too busy to separate out his recyclables, but not because his conscience got the best of him. No, a fine from New York City for not recycling got to him. (For a first offense, you get a warning and a $25 ticket. Next time it’s $50, then $100, then it’s $500.)
It’s one thing to know you ought to recycle–and then figure out on your own that you’d better snap to it or you’ll be paying for your laziness. But what about when you see people who aren’t complying or who should know better? How should you handle a situation like that?
Given that I’m a certified etiquette and protocol consultant, and have written a book on etiquette (it’s called The Everything Etiquette Book, in case you’re interested), I figured I’d talk a little bit about the etiquette of being green.
I face this etiquette quandary every time we go to my mother in law’s house for supper. She always drinks Diet Coke with her meal and then promptly tosses the can or the bottle in the trash when she’s cleaning up. If we say, “Hey, let me put that in the recycling bin for you,” she’ll usually respond, “Well, that can/bottle doesn’t have a number on it so I figured I couldn’t recycle it.” Sounds logical, right? Well, when you’re in your 70s and recycling isn’t second nature, I guess that is logical. So we gently remind her that, yes, you can recycle a clear plastic soda bottle or an aluminum can, then we fish it out of the trash and put it in the recycling bin. (Thankfully, she’s got the recycling the newspaper part down pat.)
This is an instance where a gentle reminder doesn’t bruise anyone’s ego. However, had she already bagged up the trash, tied the bag closed and taken it out to the can, I wouldn’t have gone the extra step of making my point by ripping the bag open and retrieving the cans and bottles. That would have been borderline rude, not to mention dirty and disgusting.
There have been occasions where I’ve noticed my neighbors not recycling. In the interest of not being seen as the recycling psycho–and to maintain good relationships–I will bite my tongue about confronting them. However, when no one is looking, I will retrieve a recyclable from the trash and put it in the proper recycling bin. Heck, last January, when my street was deserted, I wrestled my neighbor’s discarded Christmas tree out of his trash pile, and dragged it down to my property where I composted it with the rest of our yard waste. If someone saw me, they may have shook their head and said, “There goes that crazy green Leah again.” But that’s OK. I doubt I offended anyone.
Now if I saw someone not recycling in my own home, I wouldn’t hesitate to step in and gently “redirect” my friend’s behavior towards the recycling bin or the compost bin. If I had my druthers, I would have a recycling station right out in the open, in the kitchen, so people would get the message loud and clear. But two things are holding me back from doing that. First, my husband can’t stand the sight of recyclables waiting around for trash day, though he is a faithful recycler. He just doesn’t want to look at it the stuff. And, second, the truth is, even if I broadcast our “we are a recycling home” message loud and clear, people who don’t care about the environment are going to ignore my message no matter what I say or do. And fighting with them just isn’t worth the effort.
Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to exercise some green etiquette and you weren’t sure what to do? Or you decided to wing it and were successful? Nonetheless, if you find yourself in a green etiquette quandary in the future, please don’t hesitate to write for advice.
READ LEAH ON HOME GOES STRONG
Thanks for the examples of tactful recycling reminders that I can follow. It’s important for us to speak up on these matters, but it’s equally important to be diplomatic and counteract the “environmental extremist wacko” stereotype that some people buy into. I’d rather been seen as a positive person advocating positive actions and change.
Kathryn:
I’m glad that my advice made sense to you!
Leah
I hate seeing the recyclables, too. I have dedicated one cabinet to an empty plastic trash bin. Everything recylcable goes into it: paper, plastic, cardboard, glass. Then once a week, one of us (often me, but I’m working this into the kid chore schedule), takes it downstairs and outside to the bins for pickup. That usually happens Sunday evening, as pickup is Monday morning.
I had to do this for me–we are in a condo where you go up steps to our living space…running down and out for the recycling? Wasn’t gonna happen.
Hi Leah,
I happened to stumble upon your blog and am so glad I did. We have just started to go “more” green and I have been hunting the internet for all of the tips I can get. Just yesterday we cut up old t-shirts to use as cloth napkins instead of buying fancy ones at a store. Anyhow, your blog took me back to three years ago before I was knowledgable about “green” life. I had a mom’s group party and served coffee/tea in styrofoam cups. One mom asked me for a “regular” cup. I now know why and feel better that I have more wisdom. But I am just curious what you think about her doing that. At the time, I was sort of offended due to the fact I was running around putting out food, ushering in guests and trying to move 20 children into the backyard.
Thanks again for your blog, I can’t wait to learn more from you.
Breah
We have a great pullout trash can/recycling bin.
It is easy to get our visitors to recycle because there is no excuse not to toss something in the other bin.
I’ve even gone as far as putting the recycling bin in the front of the trash (one bin sits behind the other one )so we have to really think before we toss something.
Babette & Kelly:
When we redo our kitchen next year (as green as we can possibly afford, of course) I’m putting one of those pull-out/under the sink trash bin cabinets. And I like the idea of the recycling bin coming first to drive home the “we recycle” message.
Thanks!
Leah
Breah:
She was rude. Unless she prefaced her comment with, “I hate to bother you but I’m allergic to styrofoam…” she should have sucked it up and dealt with the cup you were using to serve her. Or she should have brought her own “regular” cup.
Leah
You make the point that age might affect whether or not recycling is someone’s second nature (in reference to you mother-in-law) and I would just add that as a young person constantly frustrated by the number of young people around me who don’t think recycling is “worth it”, that I think the number one reason why I recycle is because I grew up with super recycling-conscious parents! So parents, take note, your kids will inherit all of your little green living habits, and they definitely add up!
We’ve just had a pretty funny story posted on our blogabout Type A recycling too!