Here’s a question-and-answer post that originated on my Gifts and Etiquette website. Given that June is prime wedding season, I thought the frugal folks here would appreciate this information.

Q: What’s the deal with wedding gifts? How much do I have to spend, what’s the best gift to buy and what happens if I can’t attend the wedding?

A: Funny you should ask this question: I just came across a recent Associated Press-Brides.com survey that answers all of these questions and more.

For starters, the most popular price point for a wedding gift is $100 to $199, trailed by the more frugal range of $50 to $75. (In my mind the frugal range is more appropriate for shower gifts than wedding gifts. But that’s just me.)

Still, there seems to be a disconnect on whether or not giving gifts is obligatory. Most respondents (70%) thought that the bride and groom should not expect a gift from all their wedding guests. In contrast, nearly the same number (63%) also said they would feel obligated to send a gift, even if they weren’t attending the wedding.

In addition, celebrations leading up to the “walk down the aisle” inspired less frequent gift-giving, with only 10 percent purchasing something for the engagement party and 37 percent for the bridal shower.

Generational differences play a part in whether or not a gift is deemed necessary. Older people are much more likely to say the couple should expect a gift than younger people (35% of those age 65 and older vs. 24% of those under 30). In addition, almost three quarters (72%) of seniors say they would feel obligated to send a gift even if they didn’t attend the wedding, compared with just half (53%) of those under 30.

When posed with a hypothetical scenario where someone was invited to a wedding but couldn’t afford to buy the kind of gift they felt the couple would expect, the most popular solution among respondents would be to attend the wedding but buy a less expensive gift – 42% said they were very likely to do that. Relatively few said they would attend the wedding but not give any gift at all, and even fewer said they would make up an excuse to avoid attending the wedding. People were slightly more likely to say they would buy the more expensive gift even if they couldn’t really afford it than they were likely to decline the wedding invitation and tell the couple reason why.

These findings seem right on target with my thinking about wedding gifts, except for the not getting a gift idea. I would NEVER show up to a wedding empty handed. How could anyone do that in good conscience?